7.17.2013

Oh hello there...

Soooo i know i  have been absent from the blogosphere for quite sometime. I really have no good excuse except for the fact that its summer and i have have been trying to soak up every single second of it. this is partly because once fall comes i will be in mourning because i will be starting my 6th year of college, but mostly because in less than 2 weeks we will be shipping off to philadelphia and our summer will basically be over- and by shipping off i mean MOVING! i have also really struggled about what i should actually "blog" about. i dont really fit into any specific blogging category (i.e.: fashion, foodie, mommy, lifestyle.... blah blah blogger). and i know that most of the things i have to say are of little or no importance to anyone so i usually dont jump to my blog, but i felt like i needed to write this post...this post is pretty much for my own good, because at this point i need to get these thoughts i have out into the universe so that im not holding on to them anymore. maybe i will never read any of these words i write again or maybe in a few months when i am completely homesick i can come back here and read them to give myself some peace of mind and comfort. regardless of the reason i'm just going to get right into it...

about 3 months ago kent received an email that basically changed the course of the rest of our lives. i know that sounds dramatic, but it really is true. things really will never be the same.. getting into dental school is something that kent has been working toward for the past 3 years and even though i knew that moving was something that was pretty much inevitable, i guess i always just pushed it to the back of my mind and said "oh that wont happen for a while".... ha wellll now- much to my surprise it is happening and it is happening really freaking fast!! 
most of the time i feel like i am on the verge of tears... for many different reasons, but the one feeling that seems to be the most prevalent is sadness. and i know that seems really selfish of me and i admit that it is, but the feeling is still there (more on this later). lately, when i am in a 'sad' mood i go through the list of why i am sad to rationalize my sadness... so these are some of the ones that i have come up with recently: 
        i am sad that i will live so far from away from my family.
        i am sad or rather annoyed that i am having to transferring yet again to another university to
               finish a freakin bachelors degree!
        i am just a tad bit sad to leave my bubble in the suburbs (i know that city life is way more exciting,  
               but the suburb just do it for me!). 
        i am sad that i am SAD for crying out loud- what am i a 3 year old!  

 my list isn't really all that long so i feel like i dont really have that much of an excuse to be sad- expect for the fact that the first reason i listed- is a really biiiiiig reason for me, like big enough that it should count for like 10 other reasons. being able to live in kansas close to my family for the past 3 years really has been such an amazing blessing. i have loved being able to spend so much time with them and i have especially loved that kent has been able to really become "a part" of the family. i feel so lucky to have found someone that completely meshes with them so well! it is going to be hard not to be able to drive to see them in less than 10 minutes whenever we want. unfortunately that is something i think i have taken for granted and now i have less than two weeks take advantage of that luxury i have become to accustomed to.... i know my family will miss him dearly especially my brothers..

at least once or twice a day someone asks me how i am feeling about the move or if i am getting excited.. usually i reply with a simple "good or yes" or even a "yea im a little nervous but i know it will be a great experience/ adventure!" but it has honestly been so hard to put into words how i have been feeling, because i feel sooo many different things all the time! it really isnt just a simple answer.. the things i listed above barely graze the surface of all the things i have been thinking/ feeling. 
I kinda feel like i have been on a weird, exciting, crazy, scary, fast roller coaster and part of me wants it to stop, but most of me wants it to keep going, because i know that its only going to get better. 

although the sadness seems to outweigh all of my other emotions lately, i do have other reasons for wanting to burst into constant tears.. and one of those reasons is how extremely proud and excited i am for kent to finally be on his way to reaching his goal!  it has been a long time coming and to be completely honest... i am actually pretty excited for this crazy new adventure in philly... i mean at least im not moving to nebraska or south dakota, no offense to those places... but you catch my drift.. 

one of the reasons that i do get a little giddy about moving is because of this little place we are going to be calling home... its the one in the middle with the sign on it.. is it not the cutest thing? seriously the streets in philadelphia are the most charming i've ever seen. it is so crazy how different the vibe is there. being in the city is just a whole different experience and i think ill kind of like it.. ill still miss the burbs though! 


i honestly dont know how we got so lucky with this apartment! it truly is a blessing and im so happy about it! it is in an AAAAAMAAZING location! it's close to some of the best shopping i've ever seen (could be verrrrry dangerous!), delicious restaurants, a beautiful park (rittenhouse park), city hall, cool historial sites, and the subway (which we will be using daily- no we will NOT have a car).. i could really go on and on about this place! another amazing thing is that the rent is only $150 more than we are paying now ANDDDDD it is being completely renovated, so it will basically be new when we move in! can someone just pinch me?! now you see why i am feeling a little selfish and self conflicted about moving? 

believe it or not this whole getting my feelings out thing has really helped me see things a little more "sensibly". even though i really love my life now, i dont see why i cant love my life in philadelphia.. i'm realizing it doesn't have to be one or the other... i think i can love my new life without "betraying" my old life.. its still weird to think that my new home will be in philly for the next 4+ years, but i think if i try hard enough i will learn to be okay with it. and if im not careful i might end up loving it more than i thought i ever could! 

i cant promise any more updates in the near future, because i have a feeling the next two weeks will be a whirlwind, but i didn't want this moment to record my feelings to pass me by... so i wanted to take advantage of it. sooo the next time i post ill probably be writing from philadelphia!! how crazy it that?!


thanks for stopping by
xo, kyndal 




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